“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me…” - 1 Corinthians 13:11
I’ve been reflecting a lot this week, partly because of personal happenings, partly because of the suicide that happened at NYU yesterday. I don’t know why Andrew Noble committed suicide, but it’s truly a tragedy. Was it the pressures of adulthood that became too much for him? We should pray for his family, friends, and the NYU community (as well as other college campuses).
I am not attempting to use 1 Corinthians 13:11 or what happened with Andrew for application purposes (because if i did, i sure hope someone would slap me for it), but merely to reflect on what Paul is saying about being a child versus becoming an adult. The women’s group I’m part of has been going over Following Jesus Without Dishonoring Your Parents and in it, Paul Tokunaga talks about how Asian Americans usually move from childhood to adulthood in a “swift leap” once they marry because the adolescent and young adult phases are usually deemphasized. Mr. Tokunaga is referring more to the practical aspects of childhood and adulthood (i.e. taking care of our finances, doing our laundry, filing taxes, cooking, cleaning, etc.), but I believe our spiritual lives are not and should not be isolated, and are in fact, integrated in our daily living.
Paul in the Bible talks about putting childish ways behind him. So we see, it is not merely a “stage of development” we enter into, but requires active engagement… it takes work. There’s a thought process, a way of reasoning, a way of talking that differentiates a child from a man. Here are some generalizations of what they might be:
1) Impulsivity. I bet i totally just made that word up, but children do things impulsively and say things impulsively. There is no filter, no thought behind it. They say they want this and they want that and make decisions irrationally. As an adult, there is thought, there is a disciplined way you live life and make decisions, and there is consistency in how you carry yourself and how you act.
2) Avoidance. When you were a child, avoidance was a defense mechanism so that in case you got yourself in a situation you couldn’t handle, you took a flight response so that your mind, heart and body would not be distressed. Sometimes, you pretended the issue didn’t even exist, so you fantasized or rationalized it in some way so as to make it disappear. As an adult, you stare at issues in the face and you say, alright let’s deal with you. Reconciliation? Honesty?
3) Blame Game. “He started it!”, “It’s not my fault!”. Remember Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden? Adam acted like a child when he said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” Adults take responsibility for their actions and accept the consequences. They do not place the blame solely on themselves, or the other party (or parties) involved.
Those were just a few that i had on the top of my head. But the adult is emotionally, spiritually, physically, psychologically, and mentally mature and balanced.
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I want to be a woman, not a girl any longer. I am someone who is confident in herself and her abilities, but knows her limits and is able to accept not being all-knowing and all-controlling. Someone who is extremely passionate for God, whose vision is to see His Kingdom come. The words I speak would be his very words, and they would bring healing and encouragement, not destruction and death. I would stand for the truth, my life would reflect it, and i would give my all to defend it. Through my life, people would be able to see that God is real because only God’s power could attest to the transformation of someone so broken into someone who could be used by him. I would be emotionally and spiritually healthy, acknowledging dark seasons of my soul and living through them with perseverance, patience, graciousness, and trust in God’s plans. I would be full of peace, wisdom, and gratitude, so that when I am wronged, I can show mercy like God has shown me. I would also stand up for justice like God does. I would have peace in knowing God knows better, prudence in dealing with situations, and great faith and hope in people and in Christ’s coming. My life would be a disciplined life, balanced with rest, taking the Sabbath, and consistency in prayer and Bible reading. I would have an immense ability to care for and love people, not because of anything I am or anything I can do, but because God is my strength and my provider and he is the source of all my days.
