pathétique. passion.

It’s been ten years. How easily we forget this...

Sun, 11 Sep 2011 21:10:19 -0400

It’s been ten years. How easily we forget this day.

This is Jonathan Briley, the Falling Man, in a Postsecret postcard.

“Regarding the social and cultural significance of ‘The Falling Man’, theologian Mark D. Thompson of Moore Theological College says that ‘perhaps the most powerful image of despair at the beginning of the twenty-first century is not found in art, or literature, or even popular music. It is found in a single photograph.’”

My family and I had moved to New York City from Ohio two months ago. My dad had started a new job at One World Financial Center. He was down the block when it happened, but I didn’t put the pieces together. I’m not sure that I even knew where he worked.

Our Social Studies teacher, Ms. Mayer, announced it in class before our principal did on the intercom. She had dirty streaked blonde hair and always told jokes to make us laugh. That was the only day she cried.

Mom eventually joined me at home that day. I don’t remember her crying but I remember the look on her face. Dad came home later that night. He said that he had walked across the Queensboro bridge. “If you watch the screen for the people running away, you’ll probably see me.” It didn’t occur to me that the look on my mom’s face was her getting ready for the possibility that Dad wouldn’t come home.

The next morning, I got ready for school. I walked past streets of houses. A man came outside and looked at me. “Where are you going?” He asked. I told him. “No one’s going to school today. Don’t you get it?” I didn’t. I’m still not sure that I do.

“A world without love is a dangerous place.” Helen...

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 15:22:00 -0500

“A world without love is a dangerous place.” Helen Fisher

Please watch!

uploaded new photos onto flickr! need to practice! no real...

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 00:40:05 -0500

uploaded new photos onto flickr! need to practice! no real improvement. maybe after finals :D

me? incompetent? are you kidding me?

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 20:44:41 -0500

leesaahh:

Today, my mom asked me (this whole conversation was in Cantonese) “If I was to die today, how would you deal with the situation and take care of the family, especially Gary, your little brother?”

And in all seriousness, I answered “Well, I’d rearrange my classes so I’d be able to make breakfast and send off Elaine and Gary to school, take up a part-time job in the afternoon, make sure I’d be home to be able to make dinner, do all the chores, laundry and whatnots during the weekends, and basically give up my social life.”

Then my mom looks at me and then responds with, “Yeah, I don’t think you’ll be able to actually do that. You’re too incompetent for that.”

My mind, literally, blew up in a fit of annoyance and borderline rage. Then that conversation went downhill, not that it was even going good in the beginning with that kind of conversation starter.

Really? Incompetent? Did you get that idea from me when I washed the dishes? When I did the laundry? When I translated for you for every parent-teacher conference, meetings and non-Chinese person you see? For going to college? Oh. From not picking up my socks. wow. yeah. I’m really incompetent.

When I have my own apartment and working in crime lab, I show YOU who is incompetent.

they should make a show called, “Parents Say the Darnest Things”

lisa, you’re awesome.

so sad

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:22:44 -0500

i became a politics major only to learn that people with any amount of power just want more of it. well that and money. splendid!

viviaaaan: fishforpeople: Revelation 21:4 i always loved this...

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 11:28:09 -0500

viviaaaan:

fishforpeople:

Revelation 21:4

i always loved this verse. =)

singleness

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 23:18:15 -0500

Is it just me, or do you guys ever feel like parts of society, especially asian christian communities, tend to emphasize “preparing single women/men for marriage” versus emphasizing the most intimate love we could ever experience with Christ? Maybe that’s why so many people, christian or not, feel that without romance, life is bland, not worth living, etc. we get so hung up. even in the christian communities, we are emphasizing marriage with someone on earth versus the marriage we already have with Christ. That’s agitating.

Singles out there, God is calling you to serve him in your singleness! To love him with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love your neighbors as yourself— and yes, that means to love yourself with the love that God has for you— to see your worth and your neighbor’s worth firmly grounded in God and not in other things. Let’s stop trying to “search”. Do what it is God has called you to do today, at this very hour, whether it’s showing his love to someone through your words or through your actions. If God calls you to marriage at some point in your life, so be it. If that happens, then you can serve him in marriage with your partner. But right now, focus on how to be a blessing for him in your singleness.

so smat

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 15:24:59 -0500

did you ever write something “smart” for class, and then go back to read it, and go, “what the heck how did i do that?” just had that moment. too bad the paper i’m writing now will not elicit the same sort of response.

(via tchyeah)

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:40:45 -0500

(via tchyeah)

wonder

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:40:06 -0500

Something I’ve always wondered about, and I really shouldn’t take the time to expound on this any further because I need to study but… Why is it that people always seem so put together? Why do we have to put up that front? I mean, it’s obviously impractical to expect a society to function appropriately if all we do is focus on the not-okay part of us. But, I was just thinking about it because a classmate came up to me today and said, “Wow you’re so put together,” and all I could do was laugh in her face (which i felt bad about later on). I guess my question is more why we feel we have to pretend that we’re always okay?

anyway, off to studying.

scary tree! took it Friday 11/6/2009.

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 21:26:26 -0500

scary tree!

took it Friday 11/6/2009.

haha funny that my sister in Christ blogged the second half of today’s My Utmost. Here’s...

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 18:09:47 -0500

haha funny that my sister in Christ blogged the second half of today’s My Utmost. Here’s the first half…and the second half.

After sanctification, it is difficult to state what your purpose in life is, because God has moved you into His purpose through the Holy Spirit. He is using you now for His purposes throughout the world as He used His Son for the purpose of our salvation. If you seek great things for yourself, thinking, “God has called me for this and for that,” you barricade God from using you. As long as you maintain your own personal interests and ambitions, you cannot be completely aligned or identified with God’s interests. This can only be accomplished by giving up all of your personal plans once and for all, and by allowing God to take you directly into His purpose for the world. Your understanding of your ways must also be surrendered, because they are now the ways of the Lord.

I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me. God is using me from His great personal perspective, and all He asks of me is that I trust Him. I should never say, “Lord, this causes me such heartache.” To talk that way makes me a stumbling block. When I stop telling God what I want, He can freely work His will in me without any hindrance. He can crush me, exalt me, or do anything else He chooses. He simply asks me to have absolute faith in Him and His goodness. Self-pity is of the devil, and if I wallow in it I cannot be used by God for His purpose in the world. Doing this creates for me my own cozy “world within the world,” and God will not be allowed to move me from it because of my fear of being “frost-bitten.”

mistakes

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:59:35 -0500

i’m not one to believe in coincidences.

"The problem with most people is that we look amongst each other, searching for the perfect person...."

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:43:31 -0500

“The problem with most people is that
we look amongst each other, searching
for the perfect person. But if we look up
to God, we are bound to bump into another
person who is seeking the same thing.”

- (via xpassionfruit)

Boys 2 Men

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 23:02:00 -0500

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me…” - 1 Corinthians 13:11

I’ve been reflecting a lot this week, partly because of personal happenings, partly because of the suicide that happened at NYU yesterday. I don’t know why Andrew Noble committed suicide, but it’s truly a tragedy. Was it the pressures of adulthood that became too much for him? We should pray for his family, friends, and the NYU community (as well as other college campuses).

I am not attempting to use 1 Corinthians 13:11 or what happened with Andrew for application purposes (because if i did, i sure hope someone would slap me for it), but merely to reflect on what Paul is saying about being a child versus becoming an adult. The women’s group I’m part of has been going over Following Jesus Without Dishonoring Your Parents and in it, Paul Tokunaga talks about how Asian Americans usually move from childhood to adulthood in a “swift leap” once they marry because the adolescent and young adult phases are usually deemphasized. Mr. Tokunaga is referring more to the practical aspects of childhood and adulthood (i.e. taking care of our finances, doing our laundry, filing taxes, cooking, cleaning, etc.), but I believe our spiritual lives are not and should not be isolated, and are in fact, integrated in our daily living.

Paul in the Bible talks about putting childish ways behind him. So we see, it is not merely a “stage of development” we enter into, but requires active engagement… it takes work. There’s a thought process, a way of reasoning, a way of talking that differentiates a child from a man. Here are some generalizations of what they might be:

1) Impulsivity. I bet i totally just made that word up, but children do things impulsively and say things impulsively. There is no filter, no thought behind it. They say they want this and they want that and make decisions irrationally. As an adult, there is thought, there is a disciplined way you live life and make decisions, and there is consistency in how you carry yourself and how you act.

2) Avoidance. When you were a child, avoidance was a defense mechanism so that in case you got yourself in a situation you couldn’t handle, you took a flight response so that your mind, heart and body would not be distressed. Sometimes, you pretended the issue didn’t even exist, so you fantasized or rationalized it in some way so as to make it disappear. As an adult, you stare at issues in the face and you say, alright let’s deal with you. Reconciliation? Honesty?

3) Blame Game. “He started it!”, “It’s not my fault!”. Remember Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden? Adam acted like a child when he said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” Adults take responsibility for their actions and accept the consequences. They do not place the blame solely on themselves, or the other party (or parties) involved.

Those were just a few that i had on the top of my head. But the adult is emotionally, spiritually, physically, psychologically, and mentally mature and balanced.

—

I want to be a woman, not a girl any longer. I am someone who is confident in herself and her abilities, but knows her limits and is able to accept not being all-knowing and all-controlling. Someone who is extremely passionate for God, whose vision is to see His Kingdom come. The words I speak would be his very words, and they would bring healing and encouragement, not destruction and death. I would stand for the truth, my life would reflect it, and i would give my all to defend it. Through my life, people would be able to see that God is real because only God’s power could attest to the transformation of someone so broken into someone who could be used by him. I would be emotionally and spiritually healthy, acknowledging dark seasons of my soul and living through them with perseverance, patience, graciousness, and trust in God’s plans. I would be full of peace, wisdom, and gratitude, so that when I am wronged, I can show mercy like God has shown me. I would also stand up for justice like God does. I would have peace in knowing God knows better, prudence in dealing with situations, and great faith and hope in people and in Christ’s coming. My life would be a disciplined life, balanced with rest, taking the Sabbath, and consistency in prayer and Bible reading. I would have an immense ability to care for and love people, not because of anything I am or anything I can do, but because God is my strength and my provider and he is the source of all my days.

The one point to decide is— will I give up? Will I surrender to Jesus Christ, placing no conditions...

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:04:35 -0500

The one point to decide is— will I give up? Will I surrender to Jesus Christ, placing no conditions whatsoever as to how the brokenness will come? I must be broken from my own understanding of myself. When I reach that point, immediately the reality of the supernatural identification with Jesus Christ takes place. And the witness of the Spirit of God is unmistakable— “I have been crucified with Christ..”

Say Won't You Say

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 23:08:21 -0500

by Jennifer Knapp

say won’t you say
say that you love me
with love, ever, love
love everlasting
all my devotion put into motion by you

Verse 1:
every morning I
have a chance to rise and
give my all
but every afternoon i find i have only wasted time
in light of your awe
isn’t love amazing
i forgot how to speak
knowing you are near and
i am finally free

Verse 2:
my eyes fear to close
this reckless letting go is
hard to bear
on the edge of all i need
still i cling to what i see
and what have i there?
bred my own disaster
who have i to blame?
when all i need is waiting
to be fanned to flame

Bridge:
yeah, i opened up my eyes
to see you standing there
o, i can barely breath
o, i can hardly bare
all the love i feel for you inside
i hope you feel it now

What really matters?

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 23:28:54 -0400

Busy-ish working on paper and hyper off of caffeine. But recent events have led me to think… what really matters? And if it really matters, why are we not pursuing it with our 110%?

Beginning of the book of Ecclesiastes:
“Meaningless! Meaningless!”
says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.”

End of the book of Ecclesiastes:
“Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.

For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.”

I guess there’s the answer. Fear the Lord - standing in awe of him and realizing how mysterious he is, but at the same time, how trustworthy he is. Take joy in the Lord. Hope in the Lord (and find it in him alone). Live simply (there is a time for everything). Be yourself (confidence in who you were made to be- authenticity). Pursue the things of eternity (keep your eyes fixed on not the ephemeral, temporary pleasures, although you should enjoy the blessings around you).

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.”

Healer Idealist

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:41:14 -0400

Myer-Briggs + Keirsney are tellin me what my personality is.

“Healers are introspective, cooperative, informative, and attentive. Their tranquil and reserved exterior masks a passionate inner life. Healers care deeply about causes that interest them, and they often pursue those causes with selfless devotion. They are highly compassionate and empathetic to the needs of others, seeking to bring peace, health, and integrity to their companions and to society at large. They want to heal the problems that trouble individuals and correct the conflicts that divide social groups.”

haha. what are you?

Get Ready for .中国

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:32:28 -0400

Get Ready for .中国:

(via stellery)

no way!